He Cares
our God is far greater,
than words can make known.
exalted and holy,
He reigns from His throne.
in infinite splendor He rules over all.
yet He feeds the poor sparrows,
and He knows when they fall.
His power is great,
and will ever endure.
His wisdom is peaceable,
gentle and pure.
but greater than all of these glories i've seen,
is the gloriest promise,
that He cares for me.
what
who
where
you.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
This is the follow up to my first ever post on my blog
There is actual significance behind this post. It's not the mere ramblings of a fool.
or maybe it is.
EMO.
1.18am, January the 18th. Or at least thats what the clock on the wall showed. The green numbers blinked back at him. Again. And again.
And there he stood alone in a corner at the airport. 18 minutes had passed, but to him it felt like almost a year.
He walked over to the payphone and picked it up. They say after all that time he hadn't forgotten those numbers. 9..8...7... how did it end off? He couldn't seem to recall them anymore.
He dropped the payphone, and broke down and cried.
"Hello?"
His head turned.
He saw her there.
Standing as she always stood.
With her beautiful smile.
Never failing to brighten up his day.
Her laughter.
The laughter he longed to hear.
He missed her so much.
"I really like you"
The words slipped out of his mouth.
Yet she turned and walked away.
Perhaps it was a dream?
What changed?
His teacher. The one who he loved more than anyone else. The one he would do anything to please. Was the feeling mutual?
His friends? They had always been there for him. He became complacent. Jealous. He chose to leave them behind as memories. Nothing more than memories.
Sometimes, he used to wonder what happened to them. Did they feel the same?
He wanted to turn back time. To tell them how much he missed them. How much they meant to him.
Blood is thicker than water. But brothers are thicker than blood. He missed them so much.
The cross breed. He was merely and illusion. A passing shadow. Where did he go? Was he alive? He didn't know. He didn't really care
His work. Did he enjoy it? The never ending schedules. No, he hated his life. There was only one thing he looked forward to. But politics came in and ruined it totally. Was there time to change that? Maybe.
Numb again. Pleasure and pain mixed together in a sickening twist. It would never stop would it?
Words started to float in his mind. Words that pieced together to form a song. Another dumb love song? Perhaps it was something more. Perhaps just words of a fool.
Did he still pity himself? No he didn't. He had everything going for him. Work. Studies. Friends. Teachers. Family. Loved Ones. God. Yet he craved one thing, and that craving almost killed him.
What makes us human? What makes us keep going? He found his answer. But have I?
He needed someone to talk to. Someone who would just sit down one on one with him. Someone who would not worry about the time, would not worry about the workload, would not worry about anything else. Oh what he would give for someone like that.
He had enough.
And finally he turned and walked away. Down the corridor.
Towards the future.
Holding his head high.
.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
NUS History Sem
It was really great. I felt we did fantastically well for a team that in reality only prepared for less than one week.
Our performance was virtually perfect. No screw ups, no IT problems, nothing went wrong.
Thank you Lord.
side note: we're through to the finals.
Now is the time to turn up the heat.
watch a semi miracle happen.
It says hold on,
Place your hand in mine,
I'll leave when you wanna.
YO YO TERENCE CHENG JO ANN AH. I HOPE YOU READ THIS. HISTORY SEM ROCKS!
its either jealousy, or an inner sense of disappointment at how you prioritize your life
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
where are you now?
of all the days you choose not to answer, you choose today.
goodbye daniel. you have been a great friend. thanks for everything. i hope you can at least say you enjoyed your last day of school
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Screwed up. Seriously.
I think the worst thing that could happen is that you know your error, yet you can't do a thing to change it.
I had loads of fun today. Thanks ben and mer for letting us visit your house. and thanks to weiliang for organizing the whole thing
Give up before you get yourself hurt. or worse.
Note to self: if cards are bad for others, they're definitely bad for you.
i'm actually considering the possibility of taking chinese. stupid
Monday, February 19, 2007
i guess you aren't awake after all
Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long
Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rhythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long
The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone
Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Happy Chinese New Year.
Today, I went jogging.
Out from my front gate,
turn left down Mount Sinai Road,
turn right past Henry Park,
turn right again to Jelita,
turn left down 6th avenue,
all the way down 6th avenue.
I never realized how long 6th avenue was.
At the end of 6th avenue turn left down Bukit Timah,
Going past Ernest's favourtie condominium,
At this point the sky got dark. To be frank it was weird running at night.
Stopping at KAP to rest,
Out KAP down sunset way,
Past Ngee Ann Poly,
Past SIM
Past Wei Liang's house,
This part was the worst part of the entire jog. I just felt so tired and there was no motivation to run.
Somewhere between Ngee Ann Poly and SIM, I saw this brook reflecting the light from the sky. It was...... a welcome sight.
At the end of Sunset Way, nearing Clementi, i turned left down Ulu Pandan Road,
Past Pandan Valley,
Right turn back past Henry Park,
and finally a left turn down Mount Sinai and a straight sprint back home.
Nothing but me, my ipod and my thoughts for one whole hour.
A nice refreshing change.
Is there any nice soul out there who lives remotely nearby who would be willing to jog with me every Sunday?
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Chinese New Year Celebrations.
Didn't do anything.
Post Chinese New Year Celebrations
Lan = Fun
Went with a whole bunch of guys(namely johnson, tony, ben chua, xd, justin, ben lee, gerard, rayshio, gim lim, kwokie and terence) to bukit timah plaza to play lan. The arrangement was really last minute cause most people couldn't confirm whether they wanted to play or go out with their class girls for class outings.
But we played lan, and it rocked.
End of story.
Went with the 05 guys to my house where we played SSB, bridge and cracked jokes and Gerard and certain other things which should not be mentioned.
Went to Terence's house after that for class gathering.
So basically Daniel, Ben, Jiayi and I stayed over at Terence's house for the night. What time did we sleep? 5. What were we doing? Mass LAN party. Rejoice.
That just about sums it up. I had fun.
Friday, February 16, 2007
that heart wasn't meant to mend
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentines Day
Going Away to College
Blink-182
Please take me by the hand,
Its so cold out tonight.
I'll put blankets on the bed,
I wont turn out the light.
Just don't forget to think about me,
And I wont forget you,
I'll write you once a week she said.
Why does it feel the same,
To fall in love or break it off?
And if young love is just a game,
Then I must have missed the kick off.
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything,
But I'd go through hell for you and,
I haven't been this scared, in a long time.
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine.
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody.
This worlds an ugly place,
But you're so beautiful to me.
I'll think about the times,
She kissed me after class.
And she put up with my friends,
I acted like an ass,
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer,
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?
I haven't been this scared, in a long time.
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine.
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody.
This worlds an ugly place,
But you're so beautiful to me.
I haven't been this scared, in a long time.
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine.
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody.
This worlds an ugly place,
But you're so beautiful,
I would have asked you out if things were slightly different
Monday, February 12, 2007
I, am tired.
Training today. Totally blew my top at choy. Got so pissed I just yelled. Looking back I know I shouldn't have done so and i apologized for it.
Didn't feel too good training today. Something was really bothering me but I can't tell what.
Got hit in the leg by a softball. Now I'm walking with a limp cause it seriously hurts. Great.
All the best for lecture test tomorrow.
mind your temper, watch your words jem
I want to sleep.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
I may not have been satisfied with my results,
but i took the trouble to thank the people who helped me get it.
Wen Lao Shi,
my tuition teacher,
my family who encouraged me,
and most importantly, God.
Learn try to be appreciative and
Friday, February 09, 2007
Disappointment,
it happens all the time.
Why does it happen? I guess the main reason is we had the wrong expectations, or just somehow the situation just screwed up beyond belief.
Sith happens. It does.
Where did it all go wrong? Not studying hard enough or setting the wrong expectations?
And which hurts more, the actual grade or the crap feeling that follows after seeing that one letter.
But most importantly, what then do we do?
We pray,
We pray,
and trust that God has a greater meaning for all of this.
"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
Saint Francis of Assisi
Acceptance.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Dear Lord, help me to accept whatever result I get tomorrow.
as well as whatever she says
And help me to learn to thank you.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Training today was great.
As tim said "this is the most fun training"
Beep Test.
Didn't really know what to expect considering I've never done it before. But I'm really glad I managed to exceed my expectations
11-5
Gym
Pretty normal I guess.
Sliding
Best part of training. We slid on the basha tent cover with our socks.
SUPER DUPER AMAZINGLY FUN. I really really enjoy sliding. The best part was we didnt get muddy at all compared to the previous time.
Anyway coach said the most random thing today on the bus home,
She asked me if i was local cause she said I looked like an indon
Indonesian? Me?
Monday, February 05, 2007
Happiness..... is a subjective word.
Forgive me for asking, but what does happiness mean to you?
Is it the straight A report card?
Is it mugging the entire day in the library?
Or is it hanging out with your girlfriend?
I don't know what it means for you,
but I sure know what it means for me.
Happiness is having a group of friends you can rely on, who won't ditch you to go out with a girl, who are there when you need someone.
I'm happy.
Today for lit class, we did this really unique poem. Here's my favourite part of it:
"and one found himself standing at night
in the doorway to a room of sleep, listening to
a woman breathing, just an ordinary
woman
breathing."
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Today I was reflecting back on my walk with the Lord, and I wondered to myself, how good an example have I been?
Do people even realize I'm a christian?
I honestly doubt so.
So what can I do to change that?
That, I'm not sure
but I'm trying.
Anyway Singapore won the ASEAN football championship, retaining their title.
Does it really affect me one way or another? No not really. But nonetheless go singapore.
i shaved for the first time today
does my life have to always revolve around what others want?
I make my own roads.
I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you could say could stop me going home.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Today, was amazingly fun.
Yeah so i sang totally off key for almost the whole song, but who really cares?
I really enjoy myself today. Had loads more fun compared to last year. And thats what matters more.
I can't actually believe I was retarded enough to do what I did. But in the spur of the moment I guess anything is possible. Stupidity knoweth no bounds =)
T'was great fun.
I love My Chemical Weathering
And i gotta say this one more time:
This time, This place.
Misused, Mistakes.
Too long, Too late.
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance,
Just one breath,
Just in case there's just one left.
'Cause you know,
you know, you know,
That I love you,
I loved you all along.
And I miss you,
Been far away for far too long.
I keep dreaming ,you'll be with me
and you'll never go.
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore.
On my knees, I'll ask,
Last chance for one last dance.
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand.
I'd give it all,
I'd give for us,
Give anything but I won't give up.
'Cause you know,
you know, you know,
That I love you,
I loved you all along.
And I miss you,
Been far away for far too long.
I keep dreaming ,you'll be with me
and you'll never go.
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore.
So far away,
Been far away for far too long.
So far away,
Been far away for far too long.
But you know, you know, you know,
I wanted,
I wanted you to stay.
'Cause I needed,
I need to hear you say,
That I love you,
I loved you all along.
And I forgive you,
For being away for far too long.
So keep breathing,
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.
Believe it,
Hold on to me never let me go.
Keep breathing,
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.
Believe it,
Hold on to me never let me go.
Keep breathing,
Hold on to me never let me go.
Keep breathing,
Hold on to me never let me go.
You know I actually saw you in the crowd?
And i smiled.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
I can't feel my body properly.
I can't walk without it hurting.
I can't sit without it hurting.
Don't even talk about running.
Wish us all the best tomorrow.
One more time, and hopefully the last.
I wanted,
I wanted you to stay.
'Cause I needed,
I need to hear you say,
That I love you,
I have loved you all along.
And I forgive you,
For being away for far too long.
So keep breathing,
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.
Believe it,
Hold on to me never let me go.
Keep breathing,
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.
Believe it,
Hold on to me never let me go.
Keep breathing,
Hold on to me never let me go.
Keep breathing
Hold on to me never let me go.
Give me one chance?
please.
by Grace.
christian
17 june
just jem
.
I05
out
credits
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